Questions and Answers

Q & A

We realize that many of you have questions in regards to our adoption and we would love to answer them. At the beginning of our journey we had a lot of questions and it was overwhelming.  We have decided to start blogging some Q&A posts to inform you more about the adoption process. If you have any specific questions please leave a comment at the bottom of this post, on facebook, or just ask us whenever you see us! There will be some things about our specific journey that we have to keep private due to the nature of adoption, but we will be able to answer most questions. We hope that these Q&A posts will give insight to adopting. Below are just a few initial questions we are asked frequently.

This is a picture from last June of us spending time in the mountains. There have been many mountains to climb during this adoption journey, but it has been beautiful. I think this picture is a great representation of where we are now! 

Will you be adopting from the U.S. or over seas?

We are doing domestic adoption.  Dakota and I put prayer into our decision of what agency to use and where to adopt our child from. Our decision was to adopt from an agency that works with children from Florida. I know there are many parents that feel called to adopt from over seas or from different states and we think that is wonderful!  Dakota and I want to adopt a newborn, and it is more difficult to adopt a newborn overseas due to various country requirements and wait times.  Also, costs can be increased with overseas adoptions due to multiple visits. We felt that God pointed us to adopt locally, but we also know there are children desperate for homes everywhere. 

Will you have a closed, open or semi-open adoption plan?

Here is a brief explanation of the three options

CLOSED-In a closed adoption there is no contact, history or information about the birth parents. There is no desire to communicate. This was a very common form of adoption until about a decade ago.

OPEN- This would be an adoption where there is open communication between the birth parents and the adoptive parents. There is an exchange of addresses, phone numbers and easy access to each other. 

SEMI-OPEN- Adoptions that are semi-open are typically done through an agency. Direct communication is not typical, but letters and photos can be exchanged with the help of an adoption agency. Also, the adoptive parents have a chance to meet with the birth mother with an social worker present. 

This was a hard decision for us. There are pros and cons to everything.  Our family will always be out of the norm and we realize that is actually a beautiful thing! We decided that the benefit of a semi-open adoption would fit our desires for our child. Although our first choice is semi-open adaption,  our agency will contact us in regards to other options as well. I know many of you are thinking that it is crazy to consider semi-open adoption. We feel that our journey to parenthood is a shared one. With our great joy, there is great sorrow in our baby's birth family. Our lives will forever be linked. Do we plan to have them over for play dates or holidays? Who knows. We will seek to keep a relationship through pictures and letters through our adoption agency. Our child will one day have questions that Dakota and I cannot answer, but our prayer is that they will have the option to ask his or her birth family.

Can you pick a girl or boy?

The paperwork we fill out does allow us to choose a boy or a girl.  We personally will not be choosing one over the other. We want a baby, and we know that God has a perfect plan for us!

How will the birth parents decide to place their child with you?

After we are placed on the waiting list, the birth parents will come to our agency and speak with an adviser. They will be counseled to make sure adoption is what they truly think is best for them. Dakota and I will make a book that is “addressed” to the birth mom and she will see a glimpse of our lives. We will say how we met, talk about our families/friends and write a letter to her. The book will be filled with pictures that will give her an indication of what our lives are like. She will look at our book along with others to make her decision. She will then decide to meet with us or decide right there that we will be the family for her child. Typically after the books are narrowed down, the birth mother will want to meet with the prospective family. If that is the case we will have a face to face meeting with her and an adviser and get to know each other.

How long does this process typically take?

We have been told that 18 months is a typical wait time, but sometimes the wait is much shorter.  There have been multiple occasions where the wait time is less than 3 months.  Our goal is to be on the waiting list by June 30, 2015.  Obviously we pray that it is a quick process, but we know that our baby is worth waiting for.

FUNDRAISING FRIDAY REPORT

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