Infertility

Dakota and I went to the same school, church and had a lot of mutual friends. It was only a matter of time before God would nudge at our hearts to seek each other out. Little did we know that our high-school sweetheart relationship would blossom into an incredible marriage!

Starting out our relationship consisted of going to football games, movies and parties with our friends. After high-school we each went to a different college and placed 200 miles between us. We always made it a priority to find time with each other. When I was 19 years old I found out that it would be very difficult, if even possible to get pregnant. I was completely shattered. I remember telling Dakota what the doctor said and thinking he would be crazy to stick it out with me. His first response was, “You will be a great mom someday, Bekah. Nothing is impossible with God and there are other options…we could adopt!” Wow. (Insert ugly cry) I was expecting him to run as fast as he could to get away, but he was so calm and assured that God would fulfill the desire of our hearts!  Fast forward to Dakota’s junior year in college and a proposal was on its way! We were engaged and planned our wedding for December 2011. Our wedding was beautiful and more than we ever imagined.

During our first year of marriage, we moved to Virginia in a town outside of Washington D.C. After about 9 months of just the two of us, we decided that it was time to add to our family. We got a puppy!

Soon after getting our puppy I went to a doctor and was prescribed some medicine that might help get us pregnant. After three unsuccessful tries with this medicine we decided to take a break.  That next fall we moved to the state of Texas and decided to make an appointment with a fertility specialist. Our year in Texas was full of ups and downs in regards to fertility treatment.

We tried everything. That is about as simple as I can make it sounds. In the first nine months we eased our way into every procedure. Every doctor visit we heard, “Next month, we can change this or that and hope for the best.” The amount of medication, shots, blood work, ultrasounds and doctor visits is overwhelming and painful. It was starting to exhaust Dakota and me emotionally and physically. In June, Dakota and I decided to start our adoption journey “officially”. We did research, asked questions and realized that it was going to be a LONG process. Over the next month we got a hold of an adoption agency in Texas and doors just kept closing. (We knew that a move to Florida was coming, but had not told our families yet!)  We prayed and decided to call our doctor one last time. He had us come in and asked again if we were interested in IVF. We got all the information and decided that we could not afford it. God opened a door and we were entered into a program that cut the price in half! IVF was a go!

To say that in vitro fertilization is out of the normal is an understatement. Dakota gave me over 100 shots in five weeks! After all the shots, blood work and a minor “surgery”, we had two embryos that we would implant. We were absolutely thrilled and loved those babies.

      

We were pregnant! The test proved it. My blood work proved it. Next was an ultrasound to see the wonderful, precious babies that we loved so much. During our ultrasound all I can remember is how silent the room was. It is hard to know exactly what to look at on the screen, but we knew immediately that something was wrong. We were supposed to see the heartbeat and I couldn’t see it. Our doctor kept measuring and looked concerned. We found out that our babies did not make it. We were not going to be parents to these precious lives on earth. We kept our emotions to ourselves and thanked the doctor and nurses. Opening the car door and sitting down we began to realize what just happened. Our babies were gone. Tears fell. We held on to one another and to our heavenly Father to comfort us. Psalm 30:5b “weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning” The truth in this verse has amazed me. There we were sitting in our car, our hearts completely broken and yet there was peace. Peace in knowing that our babies are with our heavenly Father at that very moment and we were able to give a parents love even if it was only for a few short weeks.  

Two months ago, our lives were forever changed. We became parents, we lost our babies and we grew in our faith. Our love for each other is so strong, but our love for Jesus Christ has grown more than I ever imagined. We still desperately want to grow our family and share God’s love with our children. Our journey in adoption will be a long and trying one, but we are so ready to take it. Please pray that God will give us wisdom and patience.